Well, I knew it would happen. It's been so long since I've been in the habit of self-discipline that there was no way I was just going to suddenly decide to be different and not have any slips. Now the trick is going to be just making sure it was a single slip, rather than the beginning of a landslide.
A friend of mine was hosting a games night last night, so after the gym I headed right there. I'd had a yogurt after work, and honestly I am one of those people who can't eat for a while after exercising, so I figured I'd play board games for a while and then go home and have a Weight Watchers meal without feeling particularly deprived, and of course if he shocked me by providing healthy options, I could always do that. He didn't shock me- it was the greasiest, fattiest pizza I have ever seen, but I stuck to diet coke with no problem, still feeling sated from the workout and the snack. By the end I was getting a bit hungry, but the pizza was all gone, so again there wasn't really a problem.
As I walked out, another girl who I only know through this friend walked out with me. I like her; I think we could be friends, if we ever socialize on our own. So when she asked if I wanted to go and get some more food, I was up for it. Out of the places we could walk to, I picked the bar with the biggest menu, figuring otherwise it'd be burgers and fries. Sure enough, they had salads available, but honestly they didn't look like they were much healthier- you know the kind of salad I mean? Where you can tell yourself that you're eating well while in reality eating your full daily serving of fat? Right. So I was considering mini corn dogs as a "healthy choice" when I noticed The Chili.
Now, chili is one of my favorite foods, and the kind I make at home is probably one of the healthiest comfort foods I have. I figured this would probably be less healthy, but there was no reason I had to eat the whole thing, and it would at least be nutritious. I also noticed that for an extra $0.50, I could have "Habenero garnish." I'm a sucker for spice.
Holy Cow! My esophagus is still burning now, the next afternoon! It was the Chili of DOOM. I have a pretty high tolerance for spice, I've always though, but my mouth was numb and tingling and burning all at once, and it went all the way down to my stomach. It was good stuff, though, so I slowly ate it for a while, consuming the generous portion of buttery cornbread in mere moments in an attempt to put out the fire in my mouth. Then I turned to my friend's chips. They weren't even good! But they helped extinguish the flames that were now shooting from my mouth and threatening to torch the whole bar.
I only ate about 1/4 of the chili, and felt quite sated, so my plan did work as far as that goes. Except that I was still on fire internally. I took the left-over chili home with me- I'll cut it with some re-fried beans or something so it's less deadly and stretch it another couple of meals that way. The waitress also wrapped up my companion's remaining half sandwich and chips, and at her request I took that home with me as well. So far, so good, I was heading home satisfied and with food for the next few days. Except that my lips were still burning when I got home, necessitating further consumption of something to quench them: the half sandwich, and then, once I was really started, the chips. Why? What was I thinking? If it was so necessary to eat something else, yogurt would probably have been more effective at the task! I am an idiot, and I went to bed (or tried, but my insomnia problem will have to wait for another post) feeling bloated and stuffed with icky, greasy food- and still woke up in the morning feeling like I swallowed a flamethrower?
So now I have to make sure I don't allow this to be the beginning of a slippery slope, as is my wont. Anyone have any advice on getting back on the straight and narrow after taking a detour like this? Suggestions for what to eat if I am again in the position of getting dinner from a bar?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
The awesome Crabby McSlacker was my official First Commenter! Hooray! I feel like I should announce some kind of grand prize, but instead I’ll just explain what Krav Maga is.
It’s basically a martial art, but it’s a modern one developed for the Israeli army and then adapted for general civilian fitness use. While good form is obviously important- how else can do it without hurting yourself, and with the most force- it isn’t like a Karate class where you have to learn lots of complicated combinations slowly, so that by the time you could hurt someone you’d have acquired some discipline. In Krav, I think they’re assuming you have some discipline, because you are an adult who is functional in society, or functional enough to be walking around free and able to afford Krav classes. Basically, in Krav Maga classes we just learn to kick some ass.
I like it for two reasons, and the top one isn’t actually the workout. I really feel strongly that every woman should be able to defend herself. I wish we lived in a world where the need would never arise, but we don’t. Knowledge of self-defense makes you more confident and helps you avoid situations where you would be in danger, and it helps you to respond effectively to any threats that arise (instead of freezing, a common instinctive reaction to threat). Most universities offer self-defense programs, and your local police community liaison might be able to refer you to a seminar or something in your area- check it out. If you can't find one you like that way, or by googling, try calling a sexual assault center- they probably know of some resources. You can learn a lot in just a one-afternoon seminar, if that's what it's aimed at, there's no need to be a black belt.
Second, Krav Maga is a great workout. Every week I feel like I’m gonna die by the end, and then they make us do push-ups. At the beginning of class you have to run around, or play the knee touching game (if you can touch your opponent’s knees, they must do three push-ups, and vice versa) or something. Then you start working on more specific skills, like punching or kicking, and you keep doing for a really long time. It’s exhausting and exhilarating. Then you move around while doing whatever it was you were learning. Repeat. Do pushups and sit-ups. Go home and keel over on the couch. It’s great!
Also, I really like the place I go to take the class- it’s tiny, and cheap, and everyone is very friendly and at a variety of skill levels. Also, no matter what their skill level, they are all working flat out during the class, so they are all dripping with sweat. I hate working out next to a bunch of perfect model-esque blondes who never seem to sweat. I realize they are equally likely to be nice people, it’s just that it makes me self-conscious, and I’d rather concentrate on what I am doing than who I am doing it with and how it is making me look.
It’s basically a martial art, but it’s a modern one developed for the Israeli army and then adapted for general civilian fitness use. While good form is obviously important- how else can do it without hurting yourself, and with the most force- it isn’t like a Karate class where you have to learn lots of complicated combinations slowly, so that by the time you could hurt someone you’d have acquired some discipline. In Krav, I think they’re assuming you have some discipline, because you are an adult who is functional in society, or functional enough to be walking around free and able to afford Krav classes. Basically, in Krav Maga classes we just learn to kick some ass.
I like it for two reasons, and the top one isn’t actually the workout. I really feel strongly that every woman should be able to defend herself. I wish we lived in a world where the need would never arise, but we don’t. Knowledge of self-defense makes you more confident and helps you avoid situations where you would be in danger, and it helps you to respond effectively to any threats that arise (instead of freezing, a common instinctive reaction to threat). Most universities offer self-defense programs, and your local police community liaison might be able to refer you to a seminar or something in your area- check it out. If you can't find one you like that way, or by googling, try calling a sexual assault center- they probably know of some resources. You can learn a lot in just a one-afternoon seminar, if that's what it's aimed at, there's no need to be a black belt.
Second, Krav Maga is a great workout. Every week I feel like I’m gonna die by the end, and then they make us do push-ups. At the beginning of class you have to run around, or play the knee touching game (if you can touch your opponent’s knees, they must do three push-ups, and vice versa) or something. Then you start working on more specific skills, like punching or kicking, and you keep doing for a really long time. It’s exhausting and exhilarating. Then you move around while doing whatever it was you were learning. Repeat. Do pushups and sit-ups. Go home and keel over on the couch. It’s great!
Also, I really like the place I go to take the class- it’s tiny, and cheap, and everyone is very friendly and at a variety of skill levels. Also, no matter what their skill level, they are all working flat out during the class, so they are all dripping with sweat. I hate working out next to a bunch of perfect model-esque blondes who never seem to sweat. I realize they are equally likely to be nice people, it’s just that it makes me self-conscious, and I’d rather concentrate on what I am doing than who I am doing it with and how it is making me look.
Ups, Downs, and High-Impact Pilates
My new ethos has not gone without any hitches. It sounds whiny (because I’m whining) but it’s also true: it’s really hard to change your habits for the better, especially when that involves time and energy. So I’m not as proud of myself as I’d hoped I’d be.
On Saturday, I did… nothing. Nothing at all. I barely even walked the dog. It was laziness, I was hanging out with a friend, the weather was nice, and we could have gone for a walk, but did not. Then, in the evening, I could have worked out before socializing, and did not. I did do pretty well with my nutritional intake, though- I was starving in the evening (my body not yet having adjusted to my new lower-calorie lifestyle, it thinks I’m being mean to it when in fact it is getting everything it needs and will thank me later) and did I give in to temptation and get a burrito? No, I did not. I went for my other favorite food: sushi. I wish I could afford to eat sushi every day. I honestly don’t think I would get sick of it at all, even the slightest bit, and it is good for you. Well, I should emend that: it’s pretty much terrific for you. Isn’t it? Does anyone out there know something bad about sushi that I do not? If so, I guess I want to know… but I’d be very sad if I had to shift sushi into the category of Things I Like but Which Must be Limited. There are some exceptions to the healthiness that I do know about: some things that are “sushi” are actually fried and whatnot, and a lot of things have sauces or a lot of avocado. Even if that’s what you’re getting, though, the portions are small enough for it not to matter much. Avocado’s all good fat, right? And anyway, I prefer it when it’s just the fish, and no roll.
Since I sucked on Saturday, I thought I’d better make sure and get my act together on Sunday. So I woke up, realized I had no yogurt (cue crashing musical cue) and decided to walk over the grocery store and stock up. I tried to walk briskly, but… the sun was out, the birds were chirping, and I was sucked in by the sights, which I have of course seen many times (I may be lazy, but I’ve always tried to walk instead of driving- it’s just that I walk to restaurants, or stop for an ice cream cone while doing it, and I tend to smoke a lot while walking, so basically it usually ends up being worse for me than staying home*) which have recently changed in some shocking ways, and I am always unable to avoid pausing to check it out.
Then in the afternoon, I finally made it to the gym, where I walked briskly for 23 minutes on the treadmill, then did weights, then got on the elliptical for another 25 minutes. Later, while watching a Scrubs DVD with a friend, we suddenly decided it would be a good idea to do Pilates. It was not. Not because it was too much exercise in one day, so much- you can always just follow Level 1 Girl (I think her name’s Nicole) but because my apartment it TINY. Two people just can’t spread out like that at the same time, and my friend is over 6 feet tall. So… it was cramped Pilates. Even high-impact Pilates, if by high impact you mean my friend’s arms, legs, and head impacting my couch, entertainment center, and dining room table.
I’m feeling better for having done so much on Sunday, though, because a) my week of pretending to belong to a health club ends on Thursday, and b) looking at my schedule for the week, it’ll be hard to really get in anything intensive.
On Saturday, I did… nothing. Nothing at all. I barely even walked the dog. It was laziness, I was hanging out with a friend, the weather was nice, and we could have gone for a walk, but did not. Then, in the evening, I could have worked out before socializing, and did not. I did do pretty well with my nutritional intake, though- I was starving in the evening (my body not yet having adjusted to my new lower-calorie lifestyle, it thinks I’m being mean to it when in fact it is getting everything it needs and will thank me later) and did I give in to temptation and get a burrito? No, I did not. I went for my other favorite food: sushi. I wish I could afford to eat sushi every day. I honestly don’t think I would get sick of it at all, even the slightest bit, and it is good for you. Well, I should emend that: it’s pretty much terrific for you. Isn’t it? Does anyone out there know something bad about sushi that I do not? If so, I guess I want to know… but I’d be very sad if I had to shift sushi into the category of Things I Like but Which Must be Limited. There are some exceptions to the healthiness that I do know about: some things that are “sushi” are actually fried and whatnot, and a lot of things have sauces or a lot of avocado. Even if that’s what you’re getting, though, the portions are small enough for it not to matter much. Avocado’s all good fat, right? And anyway, I prefer it when it’s just the fish, and no roll.
Since I sucked on Saturday, I thought I’d better make sure and get my act together on Sunday. So I woke up, realized I had no yogurt (cue crashing musical cue) and decided to walk over the grocery store and stock up. I tried to walk briskly, but… the sun was out, the birds were chirping, and I was sucked in by the sights, which I have of course seen many times (I may be lazy, but I’ve always tried to walk instead of driving- it’s just that I walk to restaurants, or stop for an ice cream cone while doing it, and I tend to smoke a lot while walking, so basically it usually ends up being worse for me than staying home*) which have recently changed in some shocking ways, and I am always unable to avoid pausing to check it out.
Then in the afternoon, I finally made it to the gym, where I walked briskly for 23 minutes on the treadmill, then did weights, then got on the elliptical for another 25 minutes. Later, while watching a Scrubs DVD with a friend, we suddenly decided it would be a good idea to do Pilates. It was not. Not because it was too much exercise in one day, so much- you can always just follow Level 1 Girl (I think her name’s Nicole) but because my apartment it TINY. Two people just can’t spread out like that at the same time, and my friend is over 6 feet tall. So… it was cramped Pilates. Even high-impact Pilates, if by high impact you mean my friend’s arms, legs, and head impacting my couch, entertainment center, and dining room table.
I’m feeling better for having done so much on Sunday, though, because a) my week of pretending to belong to a health club ends on Thursday, and b) looking at my schedule for the week, it’ll be hard to really get in anything intensive.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Okay, then.
Having explained the situation, I might as well begin.
Pounds lost so far: 2
Current BMI: 27.7
This week has been great fitness-wise, though less fun in the sense of... fun. I haven't really gone out and done anything social, and I am not planning to tonight, either. Which is good, because I am drinking Diet Mountain Dew instead of beer, but kind of a shame anyway. I'll fix that by living it up tomorrow. A wise man always tells me you should drink liquor instead of beer when dieting, because you get more bang for the calories, especially since you have less in your stomach, so that's tomorrow's plan.
Anyway, this week's exercise: a log.
Monday: Nothing.
Tuesday: Krav Maga, because I had to miss last week. Worked my *ss off.
Wednesday: Walked dog, not far or fast. Really sore from Krav.
Thursday: Krav again, my regular class. I think this was the first time I really felt like I was getting the hang of the punches, and I was able to almost do all the push-ups, so it was a big day for me.
Friday: Really sore again. I like being sore, though, when it's this kind of sore. It just makes me feel good about myself, and like I am actually getting stronger. I signed up for a week's free trial at the local Giant Fitness Chain, so this next week is one week I'll have an easy time finding stuff to do, even if it never stops raining. I did the elliptical machine for 43 minutes (counting cool-down), went 4 miles, and burned (according to the (I'm sure) wildly inaccurate machine), 460 calories. Yay, me! Then I fiddled with the weight machines for a minute, trying to just reinforce some things I think get worked less in Krav Maga, and went home, where I walked the TempDog (a dog I am watching this week, but that doesn't really live with me for real) down to the grocery store to buy yogurt. I'm tired and energized all at the same time, and I'm loving it.
How could I forget how much I love really pushing myself? And how long will this joyful reunion with the joys of exercise last? Probably only 'til the next time I have to walk this dog and it's raining.
Pounds lost so far: 2
Current BMI: 27.7
This week has been great fitness-wise, though less fun in the sense of... fun. I haven't really gone out and done anything social, and I am not planning to tonight, either. Which is good, because I am drinking Diet Mountain Dew instead of beer, but kind of a shame anyway. I'll fix that by living it up tomorrow. A wise man always tells me you should drink liquor instead of beer when dieting, because you get more bang for the calories, especially since you have less in your stomach, so that's tomorrow's plan.
Anyway, this week's exercise: a log.
Monday: Nothing.
Tuesday: Krav Maga, because I had to miss last week. Worked my *ss off.
Wednesday: Walked dog, not far or fast. Really sore from Krav.
Thursday: Krav again, my regular class. I think this was the first time I really felt like I was getting the hang of the punches, and I was able to almost do all the push-ups, so it was a big day for me.
Friday: Really sore again. I like being sore, though, when it's this kind of sore. It just makes me feel good about myself, and like I am actually getting stronger. I signed up for a week's free trial at the local Giant Fitness Chain, so this next week is one week I'll have an easy time finding stuff to do, even if it never stops raining. I did the elliptical machine for 43 minutes (counting cool-down), went 4 miles, and burned (according to the (I'm sure) wildly inaccurate machine), 460 calories. Yay, me! Then I fiddled with the weight machines for a minute, trying to just reinforce some things I think get worked less in Krav Maga, and went home, where I walked the TempDog (a dog I am watching this week, but that doesn't really live with me for real) down to the grocery store to buy yogurt. I'm tired and energized all at the same time, and I'm loving it.
How could I forget how much I love really pushing myself? And how long will this joyful reunion with the joys of exercise last? Probably only 'til the next time I have to walk this dog and it's raining.
The Kickoff
Welcome to the Hard Slog! This blog will (hopefully) chronicle my own personal slog, on a journey from lazy, fat slacker to thin not-so-slackerish person. Along the way, I'll share my fitness insights, trials, tribulations, and eventual triumphs. I also might branch out and talk about the rest of my life, but that remains to be seen.
The beginning: this is lucky for me personally, but not so lucky in the dramatic sense, but I'm not actually obese. My BMI says I'm definitely overweight, but I haven't crossed the dreaded Obesity Line yet, and I don't have to buy plus-size clothes or anything. At the same time, I am overweight, and I can't wear a lot of the fun things I want to wear. I'm only 25, this should be the peak of my physical fitness, not the low point of a decline that began when high school (and my athletic life) ended. While I haven't been happy with myself for a while, it didn't really get bad until this last year or so, when I started spending all my time with a certain boy, and going to diners and eating lots of yummy Eggs Benedict or cheeseburgers instead of staying home and cooking vegetables. It was great! We must have gone to almost every breakfast place in our medium-sized city, not to mention quite a few non-breakfast places. I like dessert as much as anyone, and I should learn to love salad at normal meals more than I do, but breakfast is truly my Achilles heel. It's just so good! All of it! And it's breakfast, so it must be okay, because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Right? And anyway, going out to brunch is a special occasion, a time to relax, drink some coffee and quibble over the crossword... you can't sully a happy time like that by listening to that nagging little calorie-counter in the back of your head, can you? That would just be giving in to society's unreasonable expectations for women. I mean, who would criticize my boyfriend for having the full breakfast special? Why should there be a double standard just because he has a better metabolism?
That relationship has been over for a while now, and it finally hit me recently that I am offending myself. I mean, this is my body, I should be taking better care of it. And since I am still adjusting to the sudden free time and the lack of brunch invites, I thought I'd better just strike while the iron is hot and make a real, permanent change in my habits. Build regular exercise into my post-high school, post-college life.
The challenge? Well, it's been a while, and I am really out of shape. I smoke like a chimney, which seems like a good reason not to run. Also, I am not making much money right now, so I can't really afford to spend a whole lot on gym memberships and equipment, and I'll have to make do with what's available to me, which is:
The beginning: this is lucky for me personally, but not so lucky in the dramatic sense, but I'm not actually obese. My BMI says I'm definitely overweight, but I haven't crossed the dreaded Obesity Line yet, and I don't have to buy plus-size clothes or anything. At the same time, I am overweight, and I can't wear a lot of the fun things I want to wear. I'm only 25, this should be the peak of my physical fitness, not the low point of a decline that began when high school (and my athletic life) ended. While I haven't been happy with myself for a while, it didn't really get bad until this last year or so, when I started spending all my time with a certain boy, and going to diners and eating lots of yummy Eggs Benedict or cheeseburgers instead of staying home and cooking vegetables. It was great! We must have gone to almost every breakfast place in our medium-sized city, not to mention quite a few non-breakfast places. I like dessert as much as anyone, and I should learn to love salad at normal meals more than I do, but breakfast is truly my Achilles heel. It's just so good! All of it! And it's breakfast, so it must be okay, because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Right? And anyway, going out to brunch is a special occasion, a time to relax, drink some coffee and quibble over the crossword... you can't sully a happy time like that by listening to that nagging little calorie-counter in the back of your head, can you? That would just be giving in to society's unreasonable expectations for women. I mean, who would criticize my boyfriend for having the full breakfast special? Why should there be a double standard just because he has a better metabolism?
That relationship has been over for a while now, and it finally hit me recently that I am offending myself. I mean, this is my body, I should be taking better care of it. And since I am still adjusting to the sudden free time and the lack of brunch invites, I thought I'd better just strike while the iron is hot and make a real, permanent change in my habits. Build regular exercise into my post-high school, post-college life.
The challenge? Well, it's been a while, and I am really out of shape. I smoke like a chimney, which seems like a good reason not to run. Also, I am not making much money right now, so I can't really afford to spend a whole lot on gym memberships and equipment, and I'll have to make do with what's available to me, which is:
- One pair running shoes- decent, but I'll need new ones if I start running regularly.
- One exercise ball and DVD with horrifyingly intense exercise ball workout.
- One Pilate's DVD, also very challenging.
- A yoga mat and some of those stretchy things with the handles.
- A once-a-week Krav Maga class, which I have been doing for about a month now, and which is wonderful. I have really missed that endorphin rush! But I can only afford once a week, so it isn't really enough.
- A very small apartment in which to do these DVDs (I have to rearrange the furniture to even try it, and then if it involves motion I tend to run into the wall).
- A bike.
- Two little hand-weights (5 lbs., I think).
- This blog, which, because it's public, will hopefully guilt me into continuing to work out.
So here goes! If anyone out there is reading this, and if you have any suggestions for sustainable routines for the ludicrously out-of-shape, please chime in!
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